I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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