i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
