What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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