Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
