BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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