definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
