I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
