saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
