Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
