he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
