guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
