Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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