i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
