One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
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