Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
