yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
