Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
