one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
