Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She bit a glass in half.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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