Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
