just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
