Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
