put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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