Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
