did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You can't motorboat a personality
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
