It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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