All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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