return my video game
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
