GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
that's an acceptable place to lick
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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