It's like God shit irony all over that family
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Never joke about your clitoris.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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