It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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