Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
