just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
