I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
where am i from again
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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