I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
