Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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