dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
