Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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