Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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