is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
