You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
