And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
