He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
