Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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