remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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