he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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