I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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