I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
