Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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