time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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