You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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