Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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