Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
