That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
